How to ask Quality Questions

I just noticed this in my 'draft' folder where it's been sitting for more than a year.  I suppose that now's a good time as any to share it.

Its said that the quality of your questions determine the quality of your life. When I mentioned that to someone, he asked me, "What is a quality question?" Funny thing is how we think we know something, but when someone asks about it you cannot answer. This was one of those times for me.

I found this note on a friends facebook page which I think will help in answering that question. He had got it from www.aspirenow.com.

Re-framing questions to maximize our power:

Original question: “Who am I?”
Revised powerful question: “What do I stand-up for?”

Original question: “What are my goals?”
Revised powerful question: “How can I just BE and yet be complete?”

Original question: “What is my life purpose?”
Revised powerful question: “What can I do where I maximize my life, my love, my happiness, and my burning desire to contribute?”

Original question: “How can I attract more love?”
Revised powerful question: “How much love can I give out and to whom do I want to give it to?”

Original question: “What am I getting out of this?”
Revised powerful question: “Who am I becoming from doing this?”

Original question: “Why is this happening to me?”
Revised powerful question: “How am I growing and learning from this situation?”

Original question: “Why did they hurt me?”
Revised powerful question: “How can I rise above the hurt to grow?”

Original question: “What else is there?”
Revised powerful question: “How can I be open to discover more?”

Original question: “How can I get more money?”
Revised powerful question: “How can I add more value to other’s lives?”

Original question: “How can I stay looking young and beautiful?”
Revised powerful question: “How can I share in the beauty in all things?”

Original question: “What will I do with my time?”
Revised powerful question: “What matters the most in this moment?”

Original question: “What do I want now?”
Revised powerful question: “What can I do to just be and not want or need anything?”

Original question: “How can I become more secure and protect my family?”
Revised powerful question: “How can I imagine the lives of those I love as “secure” in a way where nothing can harm us?”

Original question: “How come I feel out of control?”
Revised powerful question: “What can I do in this moment that is true to my self?”

~~~ from www.aspirenow.com ~~~

Life is a Salt

An aging Hindu master grew tired of his apprentice complaining and so, one morning, sent him for some salt.

When the apprentice returned, the master instructed the unhappy young man to put a handful of salt in a glass of water and then to drink it.

"How does it taste?" the master asked.

"Bitter," spit the apprentice.

The master chuckled and then asked the young man to take the same handful of salt and put it in the lake. The two walked in silence to the nearby lake and once the apprentice swirled his handful of salt in the water, the old man said, "Now drink from the lake."

As the water dripped down the young man's chin, the master asked, "How does it taste?"

"Fresh," remarked the apprentice.

"Do you taste the salt?" asked the master.

"No," said the young man.

At this the master sat beside this serious young man, who so reminded him of himself, and took his hands, offering:

"The pain of life is pure salt; no more, no less. The amount of pain in life remains exactly the same. However, the amount of bitterness we taste depends on the container we put the pain in. So when you are in pain, the only thing you can do is to enlarge your sense of things . . . Stop being a glass. Become a lake."

Author Unknown

Thanks Sam

The Greatest Things

The best day, today.

The greatest puzzle, life.

The best policy, honesty.

The greatest thought, God.

The greatest mystery, death.

The best work, work you like.

The greatest mistake, giving up.

The most ridiculous asset, pride.

The greatest need, common sense.

The most dangerous person, a liar.

The best advice, use good manners.

The wisest short-cut, develop mentors.

The greatest fault, to be aware of none.

The greatest truth, we reap what we sow.

The most expensive indulgence, self-pity.

The greatest deceiver, one who deceives self.

The best habit, making good on all commitments.

~ thanks Sam.

Leadership and Self-Deception

The book was recommended by Dominic Lyon, Lead Instructor for Money & You & Business School for Entrepreneurs. The recommendation just remained that until recently when Nora Jusoh send me an email that Izam and a group of friends had decided to bring the program to Kuala Lumpur.

That's when I decided to get myself a copy. It turned out to be one of those 'cannot put down' books.

If you have not read the book, please get one from the nearest bookshop & read it. It will blow your mind (Izam's words, not mine).

If you are interested the workshop will be held at Holiday Villa, Subang Jaya on 11-12 April 2009. For further details, contact Izam Yusof at 019-386 3388.

A Little Patience

Received in my M&Y group email. Thanks Sam.

A little patience can save you a lot of frustration and regret. Have patience with others, with yourself, with the way your life moves forward, and reap the benefits that patience can bring.

Many times, it can be far more effective to practice patience than to react in anger.

Many times, patience will move you forward when frenzied effort will not. When you lash out at every turn of events, you spiral downward into a victim of your own circumstances. Yet when you make patience a part of your response, it keeps you in positive control.

Patience is not complicated or difficult to achieve. Simply step back, and take a few deep, relaxing breaths. Calmly know that you're far better off being patiently in control than you are if you're excitedly out of control. Reason, rather than scream.

Think, investigate and consider, rather than jump to conclusions.

Have a little patience, and see that it can make all the difference in the world.

~ author unknown

How to ask Quality Questions

You know how they say "The quality of your questions determine the quality of your life." You think you know what that is about until someone asks you what it means. Then you're lost for words.

I found this as a note in one of my friends Facebook page (he had got it from www.aspirenow.com) which I thought appropriate to share with you here.


Re-framing questions to maximize our power:

Original question: “Who am I?”
Revised powerful question: “What do I stand-up for?”

Original question: “What are my goals?”
Revised powerful question: “How can I just BE and yet be complete?”

Original question: “What is my life purpose?”
Revised powerful question: “What can I do where I maximize my life, my love, my happiness, and my burning desire to contribute?”

Original question: “How can I attract more love?”
Revised powerful question: “How much love can I give out and to whom do I want to give it to?”

Original question: “What am I getting out of this?”
Revised powerful question: “Who am I becoming from doing this?”

Original question: “Why is this happening to me?”
Revised powerful question: “How am I growing and learning from this situation?”

Original question: “Why did they hurt me?”
Revised powerful question: “How can I rise above the hurt to grow?”

Original question: “What else is there?”
Revised powerful question: “How can I be open to discover more?”

Original question: “How can I get more money?”
Revised powerful question: “How can I add more value to other’s lives?”

Original question: “How can I stay looking young and beautiful?”
Revised powerful question: “How can I share in the beauty in all things?”

Original question: “What will I do with my time?”
Revised powerful question: “What matters the most in this moment?”

Original question: “What do I want now?”
Revised powerful question: “What can I do to just be and not want or need anything?”

Original question: “How can I become more secure and protect my family?”
Revised powerful question: “How can I imagine the lives of those I love as “secure” in a way where nothing can harm us?”

Original question: “How come I feel out of control?”
Revised powerful question: “What can I do in this moment that is true to my self?”

Warren Buffet's Advice for 2009

Above: Evening sun near Batu Berendam, Malacca (Feb 7, 2009).

Mail received in my M&Y group which I thought appropriate to share here.

We begin this New Year with dampened enthusiasm and dented optimism. Our happiness is diluted and our peace is threatened by the financial illness that has infected our families, organizations and nations. Everyone is desperate to find a remedy that will cure their financial illness and help them recover their financial health. They expect the financial experts to provide them with remedies, forgetting the fact that it is these experts who created this financial mess.

Every new year, I adopt a couple of old maxims as my beacons to guide my future. This self-prescribed therapy has ensured that with each passing year, I grow wiser and not older. This year, I invite you to tap into the financial wisdom of our elders along with me, and become financially wiser.

* Hard work
All hard work bring a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.

* Laziness
A sleeping lobster is carried away by the water current.

* Earnings
Never depend on a single source of income. [At least make your Investments get you second earnings)

* Spending
If you buy things you don't need, you'll soon sell things you need.

* Savings
Don't save what is left after spending; spend what is left after saving.

* Borrowings
The borrower becomes the lender's slave.

* Accounting
It's no use carrying an umbrella, if your shoes are leaking.

* Auditing
Beware of little expenses; A small leak can sink a large ship.

* Risk-taking
Never test the depth of the river with both feet. [Have an alternate plan ready]

* Investment
Don't put all your eggs in one basket.

I'm certain that those who have already been practicing these principles remain financially healthy. I'm equally confident that those who resolve to start practicing these principles will quickly regain their financial health.

Let us become wiser and lead a happy, healthy, prosperous and peaceful life.

Inspiration for today!

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others"
- Marianne Williamson

Breakfast at McDonald's - a good read

I do receive a lot of chain mail in my inbox. I consider chain mails as spam and often click on the ‘delete’ button. Every once in a while, I receive something I think is worth sharing. This story is one of them.

You don’t have to send it to x number of people though, that stops right here. But feel free to share.

I am a mother of three (ages 14, 12, 3) and have recently completed my college degree.

The last class I had to take was Sociology. The teacher was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human being had been graced with.

Her last project of the term was called, 'Smile.' The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their reactions.

I am a very friendly person and always smile at everyone and say hello anyway. So I thought this would be a piece of cake.

Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I went out to McDonald's one crisp March morning. It was just our way of sharing special playtime with our son.

We were standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone around us began to back away, and then even my husband did.

I did not move an inch... an overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside me as I turned to see why they had moved.

As I turned around I smelled a horrible 'dirty body' smell, and there standing behind me were two poor homeless men.

As I looked down at the short gentleman, close to me, he was 'smiling'. His beautiful sky blue eyes were full of God's Light as he searched for acceptance.

He said, 'Good day' as he counted the few coins he had been clutching.

The second man fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend. I realized the second man was mentally challenged and the blue-eyed gentleman was his salvation.

I held my tears as I stood there with them.

The young lady at the counter asked him what they wanted.

He said, 'Coffee is all Miss' because that was all they could afford. (If they wanted to sit in the restaurant and warm up, they had to buy something. He just wanted to be warm).

Then I really felt it - the compulsion was so great I almost reached out and embraced the little man with the blue eyes.

That is when I noticed all eyes in the restaurant were set on me, judging my every action.

I smiled and asked the young lady behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a separate tray. I then walked around the corner to the table that the men had chosen as a resting spot. I put the tray on the table and laid my hand on the blue-eyed gentleman's cold hand.

He looked up at me, with tears in his eyes, and said, 'Thank you.'

I leaned over, began to pat his hand and said, 'I did not do this for you. God is here working through me to give you hope.'

I started to cry as I walked away to join my husband and son.

When I sat down my husband smiled at me and said, 'That is why God gave you to me, Honey, to give me hope.'

We held hands for a moment and at that time, we knew that only because of the Grace that we had been given were we able to give.

We are not church goers, but we are believers. That day showed me the pure Light of God's sweet love.

I returned to college, on the last evening of class, with this story in hand.

I turned in 'my project' and the instructor read it.

Then she looked up at me and said, 'Can I share this?'

I slowly nodded as she got the attention of the class. She began to read and that is when I knew that we as human beings and being part of God share this need to heal people and to be healed.

In my own way I had touched the people at McDonald's, my son, instructor, and every soul that shared the classroom on the last night I spent as a college student.

I graduated with one of the biggest lessons I would ever learn: UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE.

Much love and compassion is sent to each and every person who may read this and learn how to LOVE PEOPLE AND USE THINGS - NOT LOVE THINGS AND USE PEOPLE.

Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.

To handle yourself, use your head.

To handle others, use your heart.

God Gives every bird its food, but He does not throw it into its nest.

An inspring story

(email received from a friend)

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: 'I am blind, please help.' There were only a few coins in the hat.





A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.



Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were.

The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, 'Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?'

The man said, 'I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way.'

What he had written was: 'Today is a beautiful day and I cannot see it.'

Do you think the first sign and the second sign were saying the same thing? Of course both signs told people the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people they were so lucky that they were not blind. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?

Moral of the Story: Be thankful for what you have. Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively. Invite others towards good with wisdom.

Live life with no excuse and love with no regrets.

When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile.

Face your past without regret.
Handle your present with confidence.
Prepare for the future without fear.

Keep the faith and drop the fear.

Great men say, 'Life has to be an incessant process of repair and reconstruction, of discarding evil and developing goodness. In the journey of life, if you want to travel without fear, you must have the ticket of a good conscience.'

The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling!!

And even more beautiful is, knowing that you are the reason behind it!