Never Lie to a Woman

I’ve heard this one quite a while back, but when I received it in my email today I just had to share it.

A man called home to his wife and said, 'Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting, so could you please pack enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box, we're leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up. And Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pajamas.'

The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being the good wife she is, did exactly what her husband asked.

The following Weekend he came home a little tired but otherwise looking good.

The wife welcomed him home and asked if he caught many fish?

He said, 'Yes! Lots of salmon, some bluegill, and a few swordfish. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?'

The wife replied,
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'I did. They're in your fishing box ...'

Moral of the story:
Never Lie To A Woman... especially if she happens to by your wife!!!

An SMS Warning or wachamaycallit

I received an sms from an unknown sender – unknown in that the name is not in my phonebook. Normally I would have replied with a, “u r?” but this was the kind of message I usually ignore and click on ‘delete’ which I did.

However, I received a second sms, most probably from the same person, with the added ‘instructions’ that I should forward it to all my ‘Muslim’ friends and acquaintances.

I was about to delete it when I thought that I should put down my thoughts in this blog. Sms’s, to me, are short messages but this was rather long. The text of the sms was as follows:

Skrg krstian sdg aktf d Srmbn n Slngor n kian pesat ke negeri lain. Seramai 1900 org pdri Mlayu yg baru tiba dr Sgpore telah berada d sini…………….…Air tsbut tlh dcampur dgn holy water……Air ni blh m’ngkbtkn lidah keras@kelu utk mnybut klimah Allah.

Roughly translated it goes like this:

Now Christians are active in Seremban and Selangor and gaining momentum in other states. 1,900 Malay priests have arrived from Singapore and are here.…( here it warns against drinking certain brands of mineral water as) the water is mixed with holy water…This water will make one tongue tied and unable to pronounce the name of Allah.

I found this quite hilarious.

I think everyone knows that in Malaysia it’s against the law to try to convert Muslims out of Islam. So if the originator has any information of such activity, he/she should report it to the relevant authorities.

Then the sender, if he/she has not verified (or at least try to verify) the authenticity of the message, is guilty of spreading falsehood – and that’s not a small sin based on my understanding of Islam.

The sender is also telling me that my faith (Iman) is weak. Maybe so, but shouldn’t the originator/sender be actively promoting activities involved in strengthening my faith rather than just make our already rich Telcos richer.

We then have Malay priests coming from Singapore. The Malaysian constitution is clear that to be called a Malay, one must profess Islam as his/her religion. It would be different if the sms said ‘Malay speaking’ priests, but then aren’t many of the Christian priests and ministers already in Malaysia able to converse in Malay. This is a necessity as the first language for most of us is Malay even for those of different ethnic origins.

What is ‘holy water’? My Christian friend tells me that this is plain water which has some drops of olive oil sprinkled on it and prayers are recited over it by the priest by way of blessings. And if this water is able to be specific in its targeting (only making its drinkers tongue tied in pronouncing the name of Allah and the Shahadah - Attestation of Faith), all the intelligence agencies of the world should be real interested in learning its secret.

On a somber note however, we see so many misguided ‘Muslim’ and other youth loitering the streets and complexes in our towns and cities. If we as Muslims don’t guide them and show them the way, then there surely are others who are more than willing to do so.

Universal Language

During one of the breaks at the last BSE (Excellerated Business School for Entrepreneurs held at Holiday Villa, Subang Jaya from November 29 till December 7, 2008) I happened to be alone with Dr. Tony Zhang.

Just to introduce Dr. Tony, he is a practicing chiropractor from China and is recently married to Ms Wendy Tan, CEO of Globe Engineering.

I tried to have some small talk with him, but he made it known that he could only converse in Chinese. Luckily for me, Danic was nearby and I roped him in to be our interpreter.

One of the questions I asked the good doctor was how he handled non-Chinese speaking patients or for that matter if he had any.

His answer was that he understood the word ‘sakit’ (Malay for pain) and as long as the patient could tell him where it hurt, he had no problems diagnosing and treating them.

Well what do you know, pain IS a universal language.

Photo above: Dr. Tony treating Reza, and I didn’t hear Reza saying ‘sakit’, he just groaned.

If you need the services of the good doctor, who by the way also does acupuncture, he is available at:
Kiara Kenangan Sdn Bhd
149-1, 3 ½ Mile Old Klang Road
58000 Kuala Lumpur
Mobile No: 016-236 0253

First Reading of 2 Bills

Today, the newspaper headlines are about the tabling of two bills - the Malaysia Anti-Corruption Commission (MACC) Bill 2008 to replace the Anti-Corruption Act 1997 and, the Judicial Appointments Commission Bill 2008 to set up an independent judicial body to manage the appointment of judges of the Federal Court, Appellate Court and High Court, as well as the appointment of the Chief Justice.

The Star reports that “Abdullah expressed hope that the level of confidence on the Anti-Corruption Agency and judiciary among the people would rise once the Bills were passed”.

The PM’s statement reminds me of the recent reports that the Police will appoint an independent consultant to show that Malaysia is a safer than places like Japan.

Perception is a funny thing. People will believe and continue to believe whatever they want. What they perceive Is. To them that is fact.

As an example, let’s say that the number of crimes reported last year was 80, reduced from that which was reported the previous year which was 100. Then this year there were only 10 crimes reported. Based on that, we are now living in safer times. I should feel safe, right?

But wait a moment, the 100 and 80 cases reported happened somewhere I don’t know – to me its just some statistics. Of the 10 cases this year, 5 happened in or near my neighborhood. 2 to people I know.

Do I feel safe? Or do I feel more threatened now?

So coming back to the PM’s statement, will just the passage of these two bills increase the level of confidence in the ACA and Judiciary, especially since he also is reported to have added, “The Government met many parties, collected viewpoints and suggestions and came up with a compromise and approaches that could be accepted by all.”

On the lighter side...

My niece sent me this email and I wanted to share it.

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.

The monsignor replied, 'When I am worried about getting nervous On the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.'

So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice.

At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.

He proceeded to talk up a storm.

Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:

1. Sip the vodka, 'don't gulp'.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the sh*t out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10. We do not refer to the cross as the 'Big T.'
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, 'take this and eat it for it is my body.' He did not say ' Eat me'.
12. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.
13. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

(*-^)

Inspiration for today!

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others"
- Marianne Williamson

Breakfast at McDonald's - a good read

I do receive a lot of chain mail in my inbox. I consider chain mails as spam and often click on the ‘delete’ button. Every once in a while, I receive something I think is worth sharing. This story is one of them.

You don’t have to send it to x number of people though, that stops right here. But feel free to share.

I am a mother of three (ages 14, 12, 3) and have recently completed my college degree.

The last class I had to take was Sociology. The teacher was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human being had been graced with.

Her last project of the term was called, 'Smile.' The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their reactions.

I am a very friendly person and always smile at everyone and say hello anyway. So I thought this would be a piece of cake.

Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I went out to McDonald's one crisp March morning. It was just our way of sharing special playtime with our son.

We were standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone around us began to back away, and then even my husband did.

I did not move an inch... an overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside me as I turned to see why they had moved.

As I turned around I smelled a horrible 'dirty body' smell, and there standing behind me were two poor homeless men.

As I looked down at the short gentleman, close to me, he was 'smiling'. His beautiful sky blue eyes were full of God's Light as he searched for acceptance.

He said, 'Good day' as he counted the few coins he had been clutching.

The second man fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend. I realized the second man was mentally challenged and the blue-eyed gentleman was his salvation.

I held my tears as I stood there with them.

The young lady at the counter asked him what they wanted.

He said, 'Coffee is all Miss' because that was all they could afford. (If they wanted to sit in the restaurant and warm up, they had to buy something. He just wanted to be warm).

Then I really felt it - the compulsion was so great I almost reached out and embraced the little man with the blue eyes.

That is when I noticed all eyes in the restaurant were set on me, judging my every action.

I smiled and asked the young lady behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a separate tray. I then walked around the corner to the table that the men had chosen as a resting spot. I put the tray on the table and laid my hand on the blue-eyed gentleman's cold hand.

He looked up at me, with tears in his eyes, and said, 'Thank you.'

I leaned over, began to pat his hand and said, 'I did not do this for you. God is here working through me to give you hope.'

I started to cry as I walked away to join my husband and son.

When I sat down my husband smiled at me and said, 'That is why God gave you to me, Honey, to give me hope.'

We held hands for a moment and at that time, we knew that only because of the Grace that we had been given were we able to give.

We are not church goers, but we are believers. That day showed me the pure Light of God's sweet love.

I returned to college, on the last evening of class, with this story in hand.

I turned in 'my project' and the instructor read it.

Then she looked up at me and said, 'Can I share this?'

I slowly nodded as she got the attention of the class. She began to read and that is when I knew that we as human beings and being part of God share this need to heal people and to be healed.

In my own way I had touched the people at McDonald's, my son, instructor, and every soul that shared the classroom on the last night I spent as a college student.

I graduated with one of the biggest lessons I would ever learn: UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE.

Much love and compassion is sent to each and every person who may read this and learn how to LOVE PEOPLE AND USE THINGS - NOT LOVE THINGS AND USE PEOPLE.

Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.

To handle yourself, use your head.

To handle others, use your heart.

God Gives every bird its food, but He does not throw it into its nest.